The Kinnicky Knights
by happylittlemonkey
Summary: Wo hoo! Yeah go Tortalls Princess! you rock with your REVIEW...even if you did insult us! so people that just by REVIEWING you will be forever loved in our hearts...cough cough
1. Default Chapter

The Kininiky Knights: Alanna's Choice

Alanna gazed at Lord Plenkenhow, her purple eyes met his fierce brown ones. He watched her carefully, she felt like his gaze was drilling through her. He blinked slowly, suggesting silently. She was confused. Did she really want to share her bed with this man? He was handsome, true but surely he was not who she loved. She lowered her gaze and shook her head, thoughts pounding through her brain. As she went for the door Lord Plenkenhow reached for her. She turned.

"No, Lord. I cannot. I love another. Don't touch my ass."

As she turned towards the door she could feel his green eyes staring at her back.

_No,_ she though. As she hurried down the corridor- seeing through the arches that it was almost sunset. She was now a Mage but still had many duties. She still had to groom Hanky Panky, her chestnut stallion and wash the floor in nothing but her underwear for the groom boy, Thomas.

As she made her way to the stable Lord Kyywomc stepped into her path. As she was looking down she bumped into him, but did not draw back.

_Why not have a second choice- just in case my one true love dies?_

He looked into her azure eyes and looked down a little.

"The lord Fredloombaloomba wishes to see you in one hour." He murmured, still looking to low to catch her fierce green eyes.  
"Yes, lord Kyywomc. I mean, yes Sir, I mean…" He smiled at her and headed towards the astronomy tower.

As she was brushing Hanky Panky she thought.

_My life, now that I am a mage at the Castle Kalamunda Rocks, is becoming increasingly boring. Sure, there are a couple of cute guys and the odd war but I'm missing the duels and danger of the old life. _

_If I had a choice I would travel. I would go to the Dueling arena, and try to find who I am destined to kill. I need a new arch-enemy._

After she had seen to Hanky Panky and fed Faithfullup, her dog she made her way towards Lord Fredloombaloomba's tower. By far the most elegant of the castle, it was a lovely shade of puce and hade nice DIY window and landscaping (it, unlike most tower had a garden. It didn't quite make sense, but nor did her love life. So there you go.)

She made her way up the staircase.

"I am here to see Lord Fredloombaloomba" she said to the butler, flicking her long, red hair over her shoulder.

"He is in his bedroom, should I call him to the dining room?"

"No, no. I shall see him there. Thank you."

As she opened the door, she saw him sitting opposite the door. He was on a large chair, with the words 'Freddy rox" carved into it. As soon as her saw her he turned and said;

"Leave. Now" to the servants standing around him. She stepped forwards to the muscley man. He was standing by the window. From this height she could see the sun setting and the various rooms lit. Even further she could see the Swank Mountains, tipped in snow.

"My lord, you sent for me." He came close to her.

"Alanna. I have a problem. The band of renegade knights, the Kininiky Knights are free in my kingdom. Usually I would send my army, but this is a Stylus story so I won't. I am going to send you with one person of your choice and you may take one horse from the stables. Bring them to me."

He stopped and looked into her grey eyes. She closed her eyes.

"I shall do whatever the lord commands me." For all her formalities she was brimming over with excitement.

She stopped thinking along this line of thoughts when her stooped to kiss her neck. He pressed himself closer and embraced her.

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When she was back in her room she immediately began to ready her saddlebags. When she was done she began to change. Halfway through, Lord Kyywomc walked in.

_How does he always manage it halfway? _She thought.

_Usually on Tuesdays it's Lord Plenkenhow followed by Thomas. Ah well. It's good to be… flexible._

"I heard you were sent on a quest. The Kininiky Knights."

"Yes" she said. She smoothed back her red hair and continued to talk, ignoring the facts that she was half naked. Lord Kyywomc did not.

"I will leave tomorrow."

"They are too dangerous. Surely you will reconsider. Alanna. I lost you the first time. I cannot let go again (he is referring to the last time she met and then left him after a steamy night. Then he got news that she was dead and was generally heart broken)

"I know that love, but this is for the greater good." She continued to pack, taking out her bow and testing the string with some steel tipped arrows. She was still ignoring the facts that she s half dressed, and continued to flex the bow sideways until he got the gist. She walked across the room. She took him and lay him down and embraced upon the bed.

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She left the next morning, taking the white mare Berkeley. She also took Kstyztyt, her raven. They left before dawn, leaving Lord Kyywomc asleep in her bed. As they made their way down the path out of the village Alanna threw a cloak over herself and Kstyztyt settled on her shoulder. The cloak was a token presented to her by the Rot Elves she had helped by burning down a small mushroom that stood in their way; it was made of Dappenar Silk and shimmered in the cold morning. As she left she did not notice a pair of eyes staring at the figure on a white horse. Lord Fredloombaloomba watched as she left his life and broke his heart.

After a day of traveling she came to a small village called Small Unimportant Village. It was a cozy town, except for the fact that it was burning and being attacked by trolls of some sort. Alanna leapt off Berkeley and landed silently. Kstyztyt, who was sitting on Berkley's head, swooped carefully onto her shoulder as she reached for her knives, her thin sword, elaborately inlaid with Find Ore (which was veeeerrry hard to come by so it was worth a lot) and her trusty bow. She changed quickly into her combat cape, and dress that was incredibly skimpy. She finally pulled her red hair into a messy bun, and carefully pulled out streaks to go beside her face. She strung her bow and pulled on her stealth shoes. They were a simple sole connected to only fabric covering her feet. They made her almost silent as she crept towards the village, which was pretty much ashes by that time.

The Trolls had gathered everyone into a group and were eating them one by one.

With a few quick movements she created a ring of fire around one for a distraction. She crept up behind one and leapt onto its back. It was a shaggy, furry beast. Eight foot high and sporting large tusks and horns, they don't fit into the friendliest of groups. She flicked her untied hair over her shoulder and steadied her self. The arrow was out of the quiver and ready. She aimed one at the base of its neck. She pulled back carefully and let go. The troll dropped to the ground and roared. Instantly she was one her feet with an arrow on the string. She shot two at one troll lumbering towards her and another at one who was trying to eat some random person. As she shot the arrows she said the words of fire and the tips of the arrows leapt into flame finishing off the final trolls.

_I hope my hair's still in place._ She thought distractedly as she straightened out of the leopard like stance. She looked around at the grit stained villagers.

Out of the smoke stepped a thin figure. Alanna could not make it out properly. It seemed mainly human and she aimed her bow at it, just in case. Her bow leapt out of her hands and fell into the dirt. Frowning she reached for it but it clattered further away. She drew her throwing knives and hurled them at the figure, still partially screened by the rising smoke. They clattered off.

_All right._ She thought. She threw off her cape, revealing mostly leather. There was not much of it, whatever the outfit was, if you know what I mean. She stood defiant, her sword raised.

_I wish I'd brought my amour. That would have come in handy._

It stepped into the light. She gasped. It had fur on its face and murderous claws erupting from its figure. The fur was mainly black but had curios red stripes and a red Mohawk. It stepped forwards. It looked kind of humanoid. She frowned. It smiled. Her Brown eyes met his and scowled.

From the most southern reaches of the land beautiful women had been summoned to the great Castle the Pentagon. They came in cartfuls, not knowing for what they had been summoned. There were hundreds of them; it seemed to the guards of Pentagon Castly. They weren't complaining.

One young girl there, the youngest as it happened was sitting by the window, combing her cropped black hair. She would have been very beautiful, if it were not for her hacked hair. She stared over the land, as she was (of course) in the highest room of the tallest tower. It was swaying slightly, but Ice-cream (for that was her name) didn't care. It gave her the feeling she was back at sea. To her left the Swanky Mountains were stretching out, going far behind her. The wind from them was very cold and she could see the Great Eagles rising. Ice-cream felt sorry for herself, and wished to be back on the ship. She was the first mate of the

_StarShark _and missed it dearly.

Trumpets usually would have made an impressive "parumparaaaah!" sound, but all she heard from this height was a kind of strangled "pleeeuurrrp". She made her way down, stopped by three young lads who wanted a bit of private time. She sent each of them on their way with a quick punch combination. Behind her heels followed a goat, called Touchme. He was a cranky, black goat and was as nimble on her feet as Ice-cream, the girl. They finally reached the bottom. Out on the terrace above the courtyard they saw the procession. It was the King, astride his palanquin. He was back from some crusade or other. Ice-cream closed her grey-blue eyes and opened them again. She could not believe what she saw. He was so… beautiful. She fell in love with him instantly. After the procession passed she sat down on the stairs and took comfort in Touchme's soft brown coat. Having never seen her own face (aboard a ship there were no mirrors) she did not know herself to be immaculately beautiful. She though herself ugly and crude. She was inconsolable. She had fallen in love with the one man who she could never reach. Yet apart from that it seemed perfect. He knew no magic, she could talk to animals. He was dumb, she was intelligent. He was handsome as the sun, but she was as beautiful as the moon. Touchme bleated and reminded her mistress that it was time to head back up to her room. It was almost sunset and tomorrow the women would find out why they had been summoned.

She fell into her bed, fully clothed and thinking unprintable thoughts about her love. Into the room stepped the guard. He smiled at her but she thought-

_He is not the King. But he'll do juuust fine in the mean time._

He came towards the bed and she sat up, her dress accidentally falling partly off.

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The next day the girls were summoned out into the courtyard. They stood in regular lines, military style. The stood skimpily clad and curios as the emperor walked between the rows of females. Finally he pointed to a girl. She was lifted by guards onto a platform. He walked further and pointed to another. She too was to be taken.

_He's coming closer!_

He was, indeed coming closer. She stood silently, fighting the instinct to giggle.

He looked at her long and hard, considering the black goat standing behind her.

He pointed to her and moved on. Fighting the joys inside her she and Touchme were lifted onto the stand. After an hour about seven girls were lined up. The Emperor motioned to the rest of the girls to go home. They left, whining and groaning. The platform Ice-cream and Touchme were standing on whirred and clicked and moved back into the massive tower that the King stayed in. The doors shut behind them and thousands of flaming brands and torches lit the room. He smiled.

"You girls are very lucky. I chose you on the basis of looks. Therefore you should be unnaturally good fighters and be able to do whatever I tell you to. I would like to ask you to join the Guild of... The Kininiky Knights!"

Ice-Cream gasped. She looked at her adored one, unable to speak. She was being asked to join the army of mercenaries under the king's service? She was filled with joy. She had practiced combat on the ship and had never thought it would impress him, who was good at fighting. Outwardly she simply smiled.

END OF PART ONE


	2. The Kinnicky Knights

The Kinnicky Knights 

**PART 2:**

Start

Ice-cream-pants gasped. Sure she could become a member of the Kinnicky Knights…but that would mean that her dearly beloved touchme (who has just revealed that he is really a man, called **NEALAN**) Ice-cream gasped as she remembered it well…

FLASBACK 

The moon came softly down on two lovers wrapped in each other's embrace under the starless moonlight.

"Ice-cream pants-there is something that I must tell you- …I was...born…a…MAN"

"_Gasp_ but we have already slept together…I should have known that!"

"Please say that you'll take me back…my **_love_**?"

"_Eh…_I can swing both ways"

Ice-cream pants…my real name is Nealan!"

"Yeah well my real name is _Keladry_"

"Oh touchme-Nealan"

"Oh ice-cream-Keladry"

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"Oh I love you Keladry, never leave me!"

END OF FLASHBACK 

And so with those hurtfully painful memories fresh in her mind Ice-cream pants (who we'll now call BOB- uh I mean KELADRY…yes KELADRY cough MINUMAN WAGE cough)

And so NOW with these painful memories fresh in her mind KELADRY swore to never play chess again-uhf I mean LOVE-yeeeees…:shifty eyes:….LOVE.

She instead joined the Kinnicky Knights and set off for an adventure.


	3. Chapter 3

Part two: Alanna's Choice

High in a dilapidated tower, in a small coastal village was an party. Liam was in it. So was Buri.

Alanna looked up at the tiger-man. They waited for what seemed like millennia and both leaped at the same moment. She slashed at his face, and then spiraled away, but he was just as quick. He leaped to the side and rolled under her arching path and stood facing her back when she stood up. Her thrust forwards, but she turned and kiked at his shoulder. He was sent flying into a tree. She recvored ger stance and

He leaped from the upper branches of the tree, for an instant her green eyes met his blue. Then they were engaged again. The Clang and scraping could be heard from a way off, as they danced their dance of death. Alanna was getting tired, there seemed no end to the energy of the clawed man. Suddenly, when she was least expecting it she looked finally into her eyes and ran. He flipped u into a tree and leaped through the cnopy like an ape. He was going incredibly fast and soon she was left behind. Alann, aching and tired from the fight collapsed- pausing only to make sure her hair was alright, passed out.

Keladry looked around at the group of girls. They were frightened at the prospect and flattered. She smiled at the King. Touchme bleated.

Keladsry was the first to step forwards.

"I accept." She said. The king turned around and smiled.

"I will test each of you individually. But you will go first."

He lead her into a room and stopped. There was a wardrobe.Keladry opened it and looked. They were warrior outfits. They were extremely skimpy and were made mostly of black leather. There were lots of buckles and belts and a small mask. She smiled,

"I have to wear this?"

"Yes. Change now. I will test you shortly. There will be three tests of my choosing. If you pass each one you will be asked to join the Kinky- sorry, the Kininiky Knights."

"Were is the changing room?"

"Change here, Keladry."

She did so. He watched carefully with a not-quite-proffessional view. She slipped it on and felt different. Powerful. She had always been a meek child on the ship, but in this new sexy outfit she felt… wanted. She slipped her blade in the belt and stepped towards the King. He came close to her. She smelt him and slowly put hewr arms around his shoulders. He kissed her neck and looked into her eyes.

"Come, the tests await." He murmured, as if confused. _She is so lovely. _He thought._ She chose my favourite outfit. I think I'm in love._

She walked through the door, her bare legs in boots making loud noises on the wooden floor. Touchme followed. She was lifted by the king onto a pedestal to watch. He called out to Keladry, standing in the centre.

"Keladry. You will find your way silently through the maze. It has nothing bad in it but I will be listening. I will meet you on the other side. Keladry looked around at him and smiled. Then the arena was blanketed in darkness. She felt the floor move from underneath her. She leapt down, hitting the floor soon. She found herself in a small, tigh maze.

Alanna made her way slowly towards the castle Pentagon, where the Kininky Knights were said to live. It had been two weeks since she set off from her home castle, Her raven was gone (she had to eat it.) and HankyPanky, her horse was getting thin. She was tired and decided to camp for the night. HankyPanky was roped and was grazing and Alanna had set up the tent. She though of Lord Plenkenhow and Fredloombeloombe. She thought how empty her bed was and how her friend, Keladry was probavly sleeping (with someone) now. The fire was going and tomorrow she would arrive at the castle Pentagon.

Keladry came finally out of the maze. It had taken her half an hour to get to the other side but she was sure that she had not made a noise. She came to the door. She took a deep breath and opened it, tensed for some sort of monster or foe that she was probably going to have to face. Instead she found her self in a small, dimly lit room. It had a large bed in the middle and a table coveredwith instruments of somekind. Probably navigation or something. She walked further into the room. She could not tell where the dim red light was coming from, but it was mood lighting for the story and I'm writing it so it doesn't have to make sense. I mean- in one chapter Alanna is almost upon Castle Pentagon, and We've only known Keladry for one day.

Anyway, she heard something moving and turned quickly. She walked towards the bed. There was someone standing beside it. He was in the shadows.

She found some matches (I know, I know- they didn't have matches, blahdiblah blah) and lit a candle. She saw The King's face in the flare and smiled.  
"Is this the next test?"

"Yes" was the only answer. He walked forwards and she was suddenly conscious of the costume. He look lower and smiled. He pressed herself to him and kissed. Her ranhis hand underneath the strapon her chest and felt…

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HE lowered her onto the bed and knelt beside her.

"Ice-cream,oh Icecream" he murmured as

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He was amazed, this was

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"Ice-cream! Ice-cream! Oh…"

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Anyways, while this went on for an hour or two, alanna was in sight of the castle.

Had she been a little less tired and had HankyPanky been paying any attention they would have noticed a black shadow behind them. It had been following them for days now, and whenever Alanna did sense enough evil to be aware, he veiled himself to her. It flitted into the trees as she looked behind her shoulder.

They finally came to the Castle. They walked through the gates and stopped still. Mainly because HankyPanky had gone to sleep, but also because of a sense of awae. Alanna ahd never seen such a castle. The tiles on the roof were inlaid with silver and gems, the bricks of gold. The graceful arches were never tasteless and the hallways seemes to go forever. The Castle Pentagon was simply beautiful. She made herway past the Taverns and houses and came to the receptionist.

"Hello, I'd like to see the Kininiky Knights please." She said to the bored-looking receptionist.

Meanwhile (still)

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"Ice-cream. Oh! Oooh! Oooh-oohhhaaaah!"

End of part two.

This was a bit of a boring part, but I needed to get everyone into the same castle. Next part will be way bette, promise.

Alice: okay i think i was really bored when i wrote this and i think i'm high.

Lucy: High on LUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRVVVEEEEEEE...


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